Taking a Year Off
As always, this blog makes me feel a combination of amusement, embarassment and self-righteousness.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
5 months out
This is a blog about traveling. Said traveling hasn't exactly started yet, but as the title of this post makes clear, I am exactly 5 months away from beginning what will undoubtedly be a life-changing adventure. It's amazing how much easier it was to feel confident in this plan 12 months ago. Now, it seems like I'm changing my mind daily--hung up on money, friends and family, career opportunities...I have weighed out everything thousands of times and while it seems life keeps throwing me incredible new opportunities and challenges, all of which require staying in Seattle, or at least, staying tethered to the path I've been on for nearly 5 years, I keep returning to the original plan. To the year. of. Adventure. To not move this direction, I finally understand, will inevitably leave me with a mountain of regret deep in my gut.
But it is difficult. I'm finally in a career that feels like it comes with endless opportunities. I love it, I'm passionate about the work; I'm great at the work. That alone makes me slightly terrified to leave. Add to that, the upcoming return of my brother and his family, the two nephews I adore who've been living 5000 miles away for 2 years and are returning just in time to hug me goodbye; the friends I've made and kept, and the ones who've been around less and less, but still feel like family; the comforts I've gotten really good at appreciating and expecting; the disposable income and credit cards that I never really worry about paying down; my parents, ten minutes away and horrible as it feels to say, not getting any younger...walking away from it all, even if only for a year, is ridiculously scary.
But. But. But. The bigger part of me. The part that feels like stagnancy is a killer and the part that dreams of waking up in a different country every week and seeing parts of the world that I never ever imagined I'd see, and meeting new people every day and learning languages and swimming in the Indian ocean and sleeping in a hut on the beach and seeing giraffes and lions outside of a zoo and sharing food and drink with new friends and dancing all night and sitting in hot springs and making stupid decisions and laughing about them later and maybe feeling a little bit of danger, but not too much danger, just enough to remember that I'm alive and with new experience and possibility comes risk, and visiting places I've only seen in movies and books, and climbing mountains and sleeping under the stars and laying in a hammock under a blue sky for days and walking across Europe on the same route pilgrims have been walking for thousands of years, and cathedrals (cathedrals!) which I inexplicably, unabashedly adore far too much for a non-practicing Jew who doesn't quite believe in God, and riding trains, buses, renting cars, taking scary flights and using my legs, that I feel thankful for every day work so well...using them so much that my feet become unblisterable, that I can jump off cliffs and swim for hours and dance barefoot and take on the world. That part of me, is pumped.
Departure date: 3rd week of June.
To do prior: EVERYTHING. (shots, visas, gym, money saving, plane tickets, belongings sale, going away party, learn how to use that awesome new camera, find a sub-letter, pay off all debts, use that freaking Rosetta Stone and brush up on my French, spend lots of money at REI on all the things I need, reach out to everyone I've ever met who lives outside of the US, have endless planning sessions with my travel buddy, figure out how to make this blog awesome, and and and and and most of all, try not to get too overwhelmed.) Clock is ticking, but what an exciting thing awaits me on the other side.
But it is difficult. I'm finally in a career that feels like it comes with endless opportunities. I love it, I'm passionate about the work; I'm great at the work. That alone makes me slightly terrified to leave. Add to that, the upcoming return of my brother and his family, the two nephews I adore who've been living 5000 miles away for 2 years and are returning just in time to hug me goodbye; the friends I've made and kept, and the ones who've been around less and less, but still feel like family; the comforts I've gotten really good at appreciating and expecting; the disposable income and credit cards that I never really worry about paying down; my parents, ten minutes away and horrible as it feels to say, not getting any younger...walking away from it all, even if only for a year, is ridiculously scary.
But. But. But. The bigger part of me. The part that feels like stagnancy is a killer and the part that dreams of waking up in a different country every week and seeing parts of the world that I never ever imagined I'd see, and meeting new people every day and learning languages and swimming in the Indian ocean and sleeping in a hut on the beach and seeing giraffes and lions outside of a zoo and sharing food and drink with new friends and dancing all night and sitting in hot springs and making stupid decisions and laughing about them later and maybe feeling a little bit of danger, but not too much danger, just enough to remember that I'm alive and with new experience and possibility comes risk, and visiting places I've only seen in movies and books, and climbing mountains and sleeping under the stars and laying in a hammock under a blue sky for days and walking across Europe on the same route pilgrims have been walking for thousands of years, and cathedrals (cathedrals!) which I inexplicably, unabashedly adore far too much for a non-practicing Jew who doesn't quite believe in God, and riding trains, buses, renting cars, taking scary flights and using my legs, that I feel thankful for every day work so well...using them so much that my feet become unblisterable, that I can jump off cliffs and swim for hours and dance barefoot and take on the world. That part of me, is pumped.
Departure date: 3rd week of June.
To do prior: EVERYTHING. (shots, visas, gym, money saving, plane tickets, belongings sale, going away party, learn how to use that awesome new camera, find a sub-letter, pay off all debts, use that freaking Rosetta Stone and brush up on my French, spend lots of money at REI on all the things I need, reach out to everyone I've ever met who lives outside of the US, have endless planning sessions with my travel buddy, figure out how to make this blog awesome, and and and and and most of all, try not to get too overwhelmed.) Clock is ticking, but what an exciting thing awaits me on the other side.
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